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The ability to send nudes is one of the greatest perks of owning a smartphone. In many ways, sexting has never been simpler. Anyone can snap a sexy selfie and send it off to a sweetie with remarkable ease. But swapping nudes is an art, not a science. Before you start, make sure you're up-to-date on the etiquette of requesting, sending, and receiving nudes. And if you're a total beginner, don't worry: You've come to the right place.
Before you hit send, consider some basic etiquette. Do you have a relationship with this person already? Take care if you’re contacting a sex worker, stripper, or public figure. While they may publish plenty of hot selfies, that doesn’t mean they want to hear from a stranger. Only request nudes from people you have an existing flirtatious or sexual relationship with. If the person you ask says no to sending nudes, don’t press the issue. There are plenty of reasons to refrain from sending nudes, from privacy concerns to shared cell phones to fear of retribution. Your sweetheart may have had bad experiences with sending nudes in the past, or they may not feel comfortable flirting in that way. If they decline, respect it.
If they do send nudes, be appreciative. Thank them for sending such a sexy shot, and give them compliments. Tell them what you liked about the picture. Ask if they’d like to receive a nude in return, and only send a shot of your own once they’ve agreed. If your partner ever asks you to delete their nudes, do it and follow-up to confirm that you did.
So, you get a text from a sexy friend asking you to “send nudes.” Now what?
First, decide if that’s something you feel comfortable with. You’re never required to send nudes to anyone, even if you've sent some in the past, or they sent you some first. It’s completely up to you if you want to send nudes upon request.
If you decide that you do want to send nudes, it’s time to get creative. Consider three things: lighting, frame, and angle. Lighting should be bright, but not glaring. Warm yellow light like the soft glow of a reading lamp is better than the harsh, white light of fluorescent bulbs. You may want to create multiple sources of light to make your skin look extra inviting.
Next, focus on the frame. The frame is what you decide to put inside the shot and what you want to leave out. What’s your sweethearts favorite part of your body? Do they like a little left to the imagination? Or do they want to see everything? If you aren’t comfortable including your face in the shot, that’s perfectly fine. Consider limiting the photo's frame to what is below your chin, but include your mouth if you want to add a bit of personality.
Getting everything in frame can be a challenge, which is where angle comes in. This is simply how you hold your phone in relation to your body. Things closer to the camera lens will appear bigger, so take that into account when you decide to advertise your assets. Using a selfie stick may help. Get creative with mirrors and poses as well. You may find that taking a picture lying down improve your ability to show off your best qualities.
If they didn’t ask you to send nudes in return, check in before you proceed. Plenty of people don’t like getting NSFW shots when they aren’t expecting them. Even if you and the person you're sexting already have a sexual relationship, it’s good manners to ask before sending nudes. Sending unsolicited nudes is rude and a form of assault in some places. Consent requires asking for and receiving a verbal yes before sending nudes.
Once you’ve gotten the go-ahead to send nudes to your sweetie, here are some fun ideas to explore.
1. Digital strip tease: Send a series of photos, one at a time, of you undressing until you finally reveal it all.
2. Sexy mirror game: Have your partner send you a nude in a certain pose, then send a picture of yourself to match. It can get silly, but that’s part of the fun.
3. Give them homework: If you enjoy power play in your relationship, try giving your lover a task to perform (photo-related or otherwise). Then, reward them by sending a nude of your own.
It can be a lot of fun to sext with a lover. But it's crucial to remember these rules for safer sending. Never send someone’s nudes to other people or post their pics to the internet. It’s unethical and illegal. If you’re under eighteen, it’s also illegal for you to send nudes (even you're taking the pics of yourself) so stick to text flirtation until you’re of age. Sexts are forever. So unless you feel comfortable having your nudes exist on someone’s device and/or the internet, stick to text instead. Privacy laws in the US mean that the government can absolutely intercept and see the nudes you’re sending to a sweetheart. So if that bothers you, don’t send nudes at all or use an end-to-end encrypted messaging app.
Sending nudes can be a fun way to TK the flirtation and keep long-distance relationships sexy. Remember these rules anytime you're sending and receiving nudes. Snap some sexy pics, and enjoy!
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