Cunninlingus aka eating pussy, is one of the best ways to give pleasure to a vulva. It can also be one of the more intimidating sex acts. If you don’t know how how to eat pussy, where do you even begin? To best learn how to eat pussy, it’s a good idea to have a grasp of female sexual anatomy.
The primary goal of cunnilingus is to pleasure the clitoris with one’s tongue and lips. The clitoris is analogous to the penis. Like the penis, the clitoris is made up of erectile tissue that engorges with blood when aroused.
The clitoral glans, which is analogous to the head of the penis, is the only part of the clitoris that is visible from the outside of the body. The rest of the clitoris is buried inside the vulva, and the engorgement of the internal clitoral structure is what causes the vulva to puff and flush during arousal.
The internal clitoral structure feels pleasure, and one of the best ways to stimulate this part of the clitoris is with firm, thoughtful pressure. When you eat pussy, you can provide this pressure with your face.
Your face is a stable base for your partner to grind against. You can use your hands to assist the stimulation. Your tongue and lips generate clit-focused movements that will give your partner pleasure.
One of the best ways to learn how to eat pussy is by trying a bunch of different things. Explore your partner's vulva with your tongue and lips, all while paying attention to how your partner responds. Listen for sounds of pleasure and words of affirmation. If she shrieks away or makes an ambiguous sound, pull back and try something else. When you do something that she really likes, KEEP DOING THAT THING. This can be challenging at first, but you’ll become a heat-seeking missile when it comes to locking onto "That Thing" your lady likes.
You can’t learn how to eat pussy if your partner won’t let you near it! This is often due to insecurity. Society still tells women that vulvas are smelly or ugly. To counteract this negative messaging, try telling her how sexy she looks, smells, and tastes. Tell her she’s beautiful (or whatever adjective would work for her) and make sure she knows you think her body is just delightful. Help her relax into receiving.
Don’t go for the clit too soon. Take your time. Explore her labia and vaginal opening with your mouth. And once you are focused on the clit, understand you may be down there for a while. Give yourself over to the experience. It’s a gift to be allowed to put your mouth on someone’s genitals. Honor that gift and the person by not rushing. Indulge the experience. Practice gratitude.
Anticipation is a huge part of sexual arousal, and it’s essential as you learn how to eat pussy. Take your time working down towards your partner’s vulva. Once you’re between her legs, don’t just dig in. Keep playing. Lick and kiss her labia and thighs. Give her whole genital area some attention. Kiss her outer lips. Nibble and suck on her inner lips. Take your tongue close to her clit or even graze it, but don’t go for it just yet. Direct clit stimulation needs a build-up. Instead, french kiss the vulva, nibble at her thighs and labia, and generally take time to warm up your partner.
Like the shaft of the penis, moving the skin against the erectile tissue can feel delightful and stimulate all the good parts attached to it. In fact, many people don’t like the feeling of glans stimulation at all. This is especially true for folks who tend to run more “sensitive”—the kinds of people who are super ticklish, don’t like vibrators, or for whom even direct nipple stimulation can feel like too much. Don’t know what your partner likes? Ask!
Pussy-eating can be a workout. It’s okay to take breaks. If you need to do something else because you’re having cramps or numbness in your mouth or muscles, then do it. One important tip: if you’re changing it up, be clear that’s what you’re doing. Sometimes a person might think you just “slipped” off the spot if the switching of gears is too subtle.
If you have mobile issues, it can be hard to figure out how to eat pussy comfortably. Consider different positions, including “Queening” (aka face-sitting) or eating pussy from behind. Both these positions can be easier on your neck compared to the “traditional” missionary-style position.
How to Eat Pussy Like a Pro:
Now that you know the basics of how to eat pussy, don’t be afraid to experiment. Talk to your partner about what she likes, and ask for feedback during the cunnilingus itself. The fun part is the practice!